This free web space is sponsored by Bean Machine Coffee It all goes back to a place that is not about bunnies that lay chocolate eggs - but about civilizations that disappear. What are those strange statues on Easter Island? Who made them? How did they end up in one of the most remote places on the planet? Why do they haunt my dreams? The more I drank coffee and talked to my other full time paranormal hobbyists on www.liesdamnlies.net, the more I started to realize that all the so-called scientific explanations for the Moia on Easter Island were a steaming pile of bullshit. Do you really believe that the primitive natives carved and transported these gigantic stone monoliths without any modern tools or machinery? Get real. I've done enough drugs to know a cover-up when I see one. They can put me in Guantanamo Bay if they want to, but it's time that somebody told the truth. There's only one plausible explanation for Easter Island: extraterrestrial eco-warriors used it as a test site for world domination and sexual games. Think about it. It makes sense. Alien parasites burrowed into the Earth's core and morphed into hideous magma monsters that terrorized the people of this volcanic island paradise with their evil mind games. They loved seeing the men of Easter Island stick their rocks into the young girls' craters and made them do it again and again (a tradition still continued on Pitcairn Island today). Over-population quickly led to the depletion of natural resources, which in turn led to civil war, shitty music, cannibalism and the complete disintegration of society. Their trial a resounding success, the aliens then set the wheels in motion for man's destruction of the environment on a global scale. They buried themselves from the neck down and remained on Easter Island, watching, waiting… When the Europeans arrived at Easter Island in 1722, they discovered a desolate, barren, lifeless place. All they found were the stone heads, monkey graffiti and empty beer cans. Now this is where things get really interesting. We are told that the monkey graffiti is undecipherable writings of the lost Easter Island natives. Undecipherable? How very convenient! We can translate every other ancient text besides this one?! The scripts are a series of records left behind by the aliens that contain a prophecy of man's self-destruction through global warming, instructions for advanced space travel, setting up a wireless network, and the date on which the aliens will arise once more to take control of our planet. It's true - a guy on a plane told me. The leaders of the world's superpowers have access to a top-secret translation of the graffiti that has been passed down through the generations and 500 people are preparing to escape to Planet X in a special shuttle that is being built at Area 53 as we speak. How I hate those faces!!!! I know they know I know. I feel them poking around in my head with their craggy fingers. For no reason, I suddenly stop recycling, crank up the thermostat, buy aerosol deodorant, burn some coal and dump trash in the river! You probably don't believe any of this - but, then again, you'll be dead soon anyway. The long-eared men of lava become restless. Millions of alien babies are incubating under tectonic plates, awaiting their signal to blow out of volcanoes and make love to our women with their hot rods of magma. The Bermuda Triangle, Atlantis, crop circles, Stonehenge, Hitler landing on the moon, Pearl Harbor, the fluoridation of drinking water, cheese causing cancer…oh, sweet mother of Kraff, it's all coming together. Doom surrounds me. The light burns my eyes. Blinding. White, all white. The horned cat hisses. I'm getting back in my metal box. Mass suicide is the only way. I refuse to die by the flaming cock of a sexually-frustrated molten giant. Who's with me? visit my favorite site